Ontjamsit is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, almighty finch.

Ontjamsit created a quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Ontjamsit, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ontjamsit, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Ontjamsit's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Ontjamsit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ontjamsit.

4. Never go into blue rooms.

5. Never jump in the presence of tapirs.