Futlopquamkadwattarg is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humane chicken.

Futlopquamkadwattarg created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Futlopquamkadwattarg, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Futlopquamkadwattarg, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Futlopquamkadwattarg's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Futlopquamkadwattarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always treat birds with great respect.

5. Never run near squirrels.