Quatyattkop is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unselfish chicken.

Quatyattkop created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatyattkop, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quatyattkop, he will remove you from existence.

Quatyattkop's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Quatyattkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill otters.

2. Quatyattkop must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never think about chlorophyll.