Gemzigvol is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, kind wolf.

Gemzigvol created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemzigvol, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gemzigvol, it will turn you into a dog.

Gemzigvol's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Gemzigvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chlorophyll.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never sprint in the presence of ducks.

4. Gemzigvol must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.