Bissflisbeg is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, duplicitous faun.

Bissflisbeg created the solar system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bissflisbeg, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bissflisbeg, she will turn you into a dog.

Bissflisbeg's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Bissflisbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never think about special relativity.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never eat green fruit.