Gemrowbit is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, dishonourable warg.

Gemrowbit created oxygen three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemrowbit, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gemrowbit, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gemrowbit's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Gemrowbit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs in need.

2. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. You must pray to Gemrowbit six times a day.