Jadmotgig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, ruthless crab.

Jadmotgig created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Jadmotgig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jadmotgig, she will turn you into a puffin.

Jadmotgig's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Jadmotgig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat nuts.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not take Jadmotgig's name in vain.

5. Do not stand on grass.