Latsomzak is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unfair wyvern.

Latsomzak created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Latsomzak, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Latsomzak, it will refuse to believe in you.

Latsomzak's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Latsomzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not wear pink clothing.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Worship no other gods but Latsomzak.

5. Never look at planets.