Kenfutcar is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, fast cat.

Kenfutcar created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kenfutcar, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kenfutcar, it will curse you with boils.

Kenfutcar's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Kenfutcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Never think about dark matter near grasshopers while wearing turquoise jumpers and balancing eight copper spheres on your face.

4. Feed all hungry seals.

5. Respect your elders.