Getrulcib is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, moody jellyfish.

Getrulcib created Asia six million years ago.

If you believe in Getrulcib, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Getrulcib, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Getrulcib's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Getrulcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to sheep while wearing red stockings.

2. Erect nine titanium sculptures of Getrulcib on top of important buildings.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

5. You must pray to Getrulcib three times a day.