Mintapfit is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unthinking parrot.

Mintapfit created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Mintapfit, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mintapfit, he will not care at all.

Mintapfit's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Mintapfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed melons to mice while wearing brown hats.

2. Run away if six tortoises approach from the south.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Erect a large tin sculpture of Mintapfit on top of all buildings.