Tunmipwab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, stupid chicken.

Tunmipwab created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tunmipwab, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tunmipwab, it will turn you into a rat.

Tunmipwab's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Tunmipwab's Holy Commandments

1. Tunmipwab must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Never eat green fruit.