Xuckcabgud is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, caring tapir.

Xuckcabgud created Mount Everest two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckcabgud, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Xuckcabgud, it will turn you into a plant.

Xuckcabgud's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Xuckcabgud's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near manatees.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xuckcabgud.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always help ants in need.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.