Fidflagwig is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unsympathetic newt.

Fidflagwig created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fidflagwig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fidflagwig, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Fidflagwig's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Fidflagwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Do not take Fidflagwig's name in vain.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never leap near turtles.

5. Never talk about ducks.