Larnwadkon is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, dishonourable tortoise.

Larnwadkon created the Sombrero Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnwadkon, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Larnwadkon, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Larnwadkon's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Larnwadkon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine titanium sculptures of Larnwadkon on top of important buildings.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Run away from blue rats, for they are unholy.

4. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

5. Respect your elders.