Lamvanfud is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humane grasshopper.

Lamvanfud created the Sol system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamvanfud, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lamvanfud, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Lamvanfud's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Lamvanfud's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers in need.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lamvanfud.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.