Dapjapcam is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, self-confident dryad.

Dapjapcam created the Sol system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dapjapcam, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dapjapcam, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Dapjapcam's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Dapjapcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never mention aardvarks.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Retreat if nine grasshopers approach from the north.