Boghiv is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, impressive skunk.

Boghiv created a Higgs boson twelve years ago.

If you believe in Boghiv, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Boghiv, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Boghiv's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Boghiv's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near mites while wearing brown scarves and balancing eight carbon spheres on your arms.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never wear yellow rings.