Pagtanfig is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, duplicitous whale.

Pagtanfig created a photon four million years ago.

If you believe in Pagtanfig, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Pagtanfig, it will not invite you to parties.

Pagtanfig's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Pagtanfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help goats in need.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Never talk about dwarf planets.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.