Cimlunwap is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, witty snake.

Cimlunwap created the solar system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimlunwap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cimlunwap, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Cimlunwap's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Cimlunwap's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Never mention manatees.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

4. Do not hurt badgers.

5. Cimlunwap must be the most important thing in your life.