Looploopyart is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, tranquil narwhal.

Looploopyart created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Looploopyart, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Looploopyart, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Looploopyart's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Looploopyart's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Looploopyart must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always help sick badgers.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.