Tapwitbot is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, all-knowing cat.

Tapwitbot created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapwitbot, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tapwitbot, it will be very unhappy.

Tapwitbot's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Tapwitbot's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near sharks.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Worship no other gods but Tapwitbot.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not cook food in pots.