Jonjamnat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, prudent salamander.

Jonjamnat created bats two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonjamnat, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jonjamnat, she will destroy your favourite star.

Jonjamnat's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Jonjamnat's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not kill grasshopers.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never paint your back orange.