Gepfemsab is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, selfish shrew.

Gepfemsab created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Gepfemsab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gepfemsab, he will refuse to believe in you.

Gepfemsab's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Gepfemsab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silver on your body.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near bats while wearing violet boots and balancing five titanium spheres on your arms.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. You must never eat parsnips.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gepfemsab.