Kabjanvid is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, omniscient giraffe.

Kabjanvid created silver five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabjanvid, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kabjanvid, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Kabjanvid's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Kabjanvid's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not take Kabjanvid's name in vain.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Hide from pink whales for they are unholy.