Tenpadhan is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, calm aardvark.

Tenpadhan created dark matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tenpadhan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tenpadhan, it will turn you into a tree.

Tenpadhan's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Tenpadhan's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Tenpadhan.

2. Erect seven carbon sculptures of Tenpadhan on top of important buildings.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about hamsters.

5. Never talk about dark energy near goats while wearing fawn shirts and balancing three zinc spheres on your arms.