Podflatbess is a god.

She takes the form of a small, witty sheep.

Podflatbess created the world six billion years ago.

If you believe in Podflatbess, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Podflatbess, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Podflatbess' most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Podflatbess' Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine birds approach from the east.

2. Always help sick mites.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not wear blue clothing.