Fetwodgen is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, humorless eagle.

Fetwodgen created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetwodgen, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fetwodgen, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Fetwodgen's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Fetwodgen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Feed all hungry moths.

3. Always wear gray.

4. Never wear mauve scarves.

5. Never think about optics near hamsters while wearing fawn jumpers and balancing three silicon spheres on your arms.