Vonkpagzanzen is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, awe-inspiring crane.

Vonkpagzanzen created the Sombrero Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkpagzanzen, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vonkpagzanzen, she will laugh at you.

Vonkpagzanzen's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Vonkpagzanzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Vonkpagzanzen loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

3. Always help pigs in need.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Vonkpagzanzen must be the most important thing in your life.