Bassdissvag is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unjust fairy.

Bassdissvag created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassdissvag, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bassdissvag, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bassdissvag's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Bassdissvag's Holy Commandments

1. Put Bassdissvag first in all things.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near squirrels while wearing purple stockings and balancing eight silver spheres on your face.

3. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near mice while wearing green coats and balancing seven titanium spheres on your chest.

5. Feed all hungry whales.