Cibpomkarvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, happy fly.

Cibpomkarvonk created an atom nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cibpomkarvonk, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cibpomkarvonk, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cibpomkarvonk's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Cibpomkarvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Ducks are not to be trusted.

2. Never paint your feet red.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.