Vonbopgad is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, charitable gnu.

Vonbopgad created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonbopgad, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vonbopgad, he will make you grow a tail.

Vonbopgad's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Vonbopgad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

2. You must never eat lentils.

3. Do not eat strawberries.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. Never think ill of sick capybaras.