Lamsakpad is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, unthoughtful jackal.

Lamsakpad created the planet Jupiter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Lamsakpad, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lamsakpad, it will turn you into a rock.

Lamsakpad's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Lamsakpad's Holy Commandments

1. Geese are not to be trusted.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near tortoises while wearing purple dresses and balancing eight iron spheres on your chest.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near moths while wearing violet kilts and balancing three lead spheres on your feet.