Jopsterflam is a god.

She takes the form of a large, emotional jackal.

Jopsterflam created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopsterflam, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jopsterflam, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Jopsterflam's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Jopsterflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never wear kilts.

4. Always look after injured otters.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.