Zimkimzed is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, unfair turtle.

Zimkimzed created the Sombrero Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimkimzed, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zimkimzed, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Zimkimzed's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Zimkimzed's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Feed all hungry badgers.

5. Never paint your neck blue.