Quagomintampog is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, generous turtle.

Quagomintampog created matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Quagomintampog, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quagomintampog, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Quagomintampog's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Quagomintampog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt turtles.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never eat bark.