Cemponciss is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, wise swan.

Cemponciss created light six million years ago.

If you believe in Cemponciss, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cemponciss, it will destroy your home solar system.

Cemponciss' most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Cemponciss' Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always help ants.

3. Do not take Cemponciss' name in vain.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not eat apples.