Yarpafbonklat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, impressive pig.

Yarpafbonklat created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpafbonklat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarpafbonklat, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Yarpafbonklat's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Yarpafbonklat's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Yarpafbonklat.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near frogs while wearing mauve hats.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Do not eat onions.