Tarquimjop Jipbembam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, smart fly.

Tarquimjop Jipbembam created the Sol system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarquimjop Jipbembam, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tarquimjop Jipbembam, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tarquimjop Jipbembam's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Tarquimjop Jipbembam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not keep eight bats in a large pit.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.