Gatbamlim is a god.

He takes the form of a large, witty dolphin.

Gatbamlim created the planet Venus seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatbamlim, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gatbamlim, he will turn you into a sheep.

Gatbamlim's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Gatbamlim's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Gatbamlim.

2. Never write about electromagnetism.

3. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Do not eat cherries.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.