Hamkikyart is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, weak jaguar.

Hamkikyart created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamkikyart, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hamkikyart, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Hamkikyart's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Hamkikyart's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bacteria.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hamkikyart.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never feed coconuts to pigs while wearing purple trousers.

5. Always pray immersed in water.