Yathiggem Neg Tinaflib is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, duplicitous seal.

Yathiggem Neg Tinaflib created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yathiggem Neg Tinaflib, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yathiggem Neg Tinaflib, she will turn you into a plant.

Yathiggem Neg Tinaflib's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Yathiggem Neg Tinaflib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near cats while wearing pink shirts and balancing four lead spheres on your head.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Yathiggem Neg Tinaflib loves great tits, so they must be respected.

4. Do not wear red clothing.

5. Do not eat peas.