Futnellfon is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, loving turtle.

Futnellfon created the Sombrero Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Futnellfon, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Futnellfon, it will strike you with lightening.

Futnellfon's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Futnellfon's Holy Commandments

1. Futnellfon loves mites, so they must be respected.

2. Never write about bacteria.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.