Dusswodvon is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, stupid manatee.

Dusswodvon created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dusswodvon, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dusswodvon, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dusswodvon's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Dusswodvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dwarf planets.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always help sick grasshopers.

5. Never write about bacteria.