Stipxinjan is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, boastful fairy.

Stipxinjan created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Stipxinjan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Stipxinjan, he will jump up and down on your head.

Stipxinjan's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Stipxinjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dwarf planets.

2. Never mention cats.

3. You must love Stipxinjan.

4. Never paint your feet orange.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.