Ladjatgum is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, competent tapir.

Ladjatgum created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladjatgum, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ladjatgum, she will manifest in front of you.

Ladjatgum's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Ladjatgum's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Ladjatgum in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always help whales.