Bonquillkomjipnigvigbabmis is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, fast giraffe.

Bonquillkomjipnigvigbabmis created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonquillkomjipnigvigbabmis, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bonquillkomjipnigvigbabmis, it will turn you into a rock.

Bonquillkomjipnigvigbabmis' most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Bonquillkomjipnigvigbabmis' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bonquillkomjipnigvigbabmis five times a day.

2. Do not keep six cats in a large pit.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.