Baplamapp Nakmotbus is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, dishonourable ferret.

Baplamapp Nakmotbus created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Baplamapp Nakmotbus, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Baplamapp Nakmotbus, she will laugh at you.

Baplamapp Nakmotbus' most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Baplamapp Nakmotbus' Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never laugh in the presence of manatees.

4. Always obey Baplamapp Nakmotbus' priests.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.