Gomjarnwon is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unthoughtful elephant.

Gomjarnwon created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gomjarnwon, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gomjarnwon, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Gomjarnwon's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Gomjarnwon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always wear brown.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

5. Never wear dresses.