Miskarfedkap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, almighty seal.

Miskarfedkap created the Sun three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Miskarfedkap, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Miskarfedkap, she will jump up and down on your head.

Miskarfedkap's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Miskarfedkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back fawn.

2. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Miskarfedkap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Never feed corn to otters while wearing hats.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.