Arfarnsag is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, cheerful monkey.

Arfarnsag created the Sol system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfarnsag, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Arfarnsag, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Arfarnsag's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Arfarnsag's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never laugh in the presence of voles.

3. Never feed cucumbers to dogs while wearing magenta shorts.

4. You must pray to Arfarnsag eight times a day.

5. Never talk about capybaras.