Vabflanlun Vogwipbun is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, tiresome fish.

Vabflanlun Vogwipbun created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabflanlun Vogwipbun, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vabflanlun Vogwipbun, she will remove you from existence.

Vabflanlun Vogwipbun's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Vabflanlun Vogwipbun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near otters while wearing white dresses and balancing four gold spheres on your feet.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near doves while wearing red skirts.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Never hurt cats.